UFC 217 sees more title changes than the last time the artist formerly known as Prince tried to become a lightning bolt symbol. This goes down as card of the year, and perhaps one of the greatest cards of all time.
St-Pierre v. Bisping
George St-Pierre not only loves poutine (French Canadian voice), he loves winning!
("Poutine is kind of gross." -Matt Ward)
Georges St-Pierre re-enters after years away from the sport and takes Michael Bisping’s belt in the 185 lb. division. St-Pierre looks to be carrying a lot more muscle and with it, more power. St-Pierre did not rip Bisping down to the ground and engage in a tickle fight like everyone thought he would.
Both fighters began the evening sitting behind their jab. St-Pierre did make a few attempts to take Bisping down, but they were without success. In fact, this writer was shocked when St-Pierre did land a successful take down and Bipsing was able to almost instantly pop back up. The other shocking aspect of this fight was St-Pierre looks better on his feet. Think of how scary this premise is.
St-Pierre was getting the better of the exchanges on the feet. However, I did feel he was winded by round two, which I attribute to his new muscle mass. That being said, he was able to knock Bisping down with a left hook, at which point, he took Bisping’s back and submitted Bipsing with a rear naked choke. I mean a legitimate rear naked choke, not the kind the Ward brothers administer on one another during drunken family reunions.
(Ward Brothers Wrestling circa 2012 - "Tap out, Steeeeve!" -Matt Ward)
Bisping, a true warrior, did not tap, but instead went out due to the choke. When he came to, he spoke to Joe Rogan, and I thought for sure he was going to retire, but Bisping claimed he would be back. Come to find out, Bisping will fight Kelvin Gastelum on short notice. He opens this fight as an underdog, which he has been his entire career. St-Pierre has nothing but options after coming back off a four-year hiatus.
T.J. Dillashaw v. Cody Garbrandt
Dillashaw takes back his belt, but the drama continues. This fight may have been the best fight on the card. It had more drama leading up to it than the anticipation of Patrick Dempsey (McDreamy for my lady readers) leaving Gray’s Anatomy.
("McDreamy, why did you have to leave us so soon?" -Dustin Johnson)
Everyone knows the beef between Dillashaw and Team Alpha Male, so I will not dive into it any further. However, this fight lived up to the hype. The first round was amazing. Garbrandt caught a kick from Dillashaw and waved a finger as if to say, no sir. Near the end of round one, Garbrandt connected with a left hook that floored Dillashaw. However, as Garbrandt began hitting Dillashaw with ground strikes, the round ended. I for one believe that if the round had ten more seconds, Garbrandt would have retained his belt.
I believe the above just as I want to believe Bambi’s mother is still with us. In round two, Dillashaw seemed to get his legs back. He landed a head kick that grazed Garbrandt, but did noticeable damage. Following the head kick, he landed some punches that put Garbrandt on the mat where Dillashaw finished him with ground strikes, winning by K.O.
(Bambi's Mom - 1938-1942)
At the end of the fight, the fighters showed respect for one another. However, here we are a few days removed, and already the shit talk continues. Dillashaw has tweeted Garbrandt does not deserve a re-match. This is coming from a guy who could have just as easily been defeated if round one had more time in it. Another rumor is that Faber announced he would un-retire to fight Dillashaw. This may be of interest to many fans.
Dillashaw is a beast, there is no denying his talent. However, he has not connected with fans and is known as a low draw fighter. Dillashaw does not have a lot of options, outside of fighting Demetrius Johnson (no relation to the author) in a super fight, or running back to a second fight with Garbrandt. Let us all not forget, Dominick Cruz will most likely be coming for what he feels is his very soon. It would appear Dillashaw cannot solve the Cruz puzzle. We will update fans as more information becomes available.
Rose Namajunas v. Joanna Jedrzejczyk
Namajunas allows all children to sleep tight as she proves the bogeyman is nothing to fear. Namajunas shocked the world at UFC 217 when she ended reining champ Jedrzejczyk’s undefeated streak on Saturday night.
Namajunas clocked Jedrzejczyk with a punch that sent her to the canvas, where Namajunas finished her with ground strikes. The 25 year-old Namajunas shocked herself and the world, when she became the new women’s strawweight champion.
It was rumored that after the fight, Jedrzejczyk was seen with Liam Neeson boarding a train back to Poland. For those of you who do not watch movies, it is a shame, because this rumor is solid gold. Nevertheless, Jedrzejczyk has been a dominant champion and her next steps will be determined in the upcoming weeks. If anyone deserves a rematch, the former champion who has been so dominant surely deserves it, but the UFC has not been so quick to grant rematches. In the meantime, congratulations to Namajunas for a historic upset win.
Special Thanks To:
M.C. Hammer for being Too Legit to Quit
The Taco Bell dog
McDonalds for honey dicking us with the promise of Szechwan sauce
Vaseline and/or Lava soap
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